So I didn't make uni, I was far too late filling out all my forms and sorting myself out, due to my unstability cayotic lifestyle [Try moving six times!! =/] So I missed out on Uni. Which in pure frankness sucks dreadfully and I'm hating every waking minute of it!! I'm so envious of all my friends, The ones I did my foundation year at Uni with. Some of them have just entered their second year this fall, some have just started their first year. So I'm left so compleatly numb and alone. I have to sit here and watch them continue with their art and progress in thier lives while I have to sit back with my stupid illness, I've had to fall back into my deadly cycles of addiction and fail once more in my life. I don't know if I'm ever going to get better.

On a positive note, I have started creative therapy which is a 6 week course. With a 2 week break and back on for 6 weeks through the year. I have to travel over 40 miles for it but I'ts compleatly worth it! I alo will be going on a short 5 week sculpture course next month and I'm hoping next year I can find another tempory short course to fufill my need to learn and produce art. I've done a few peices on my own recently and I'm hoping that I presonally get back into creating art due to my 2 year absence really [Or what seams like it]

I have moved into my own flat, which is a lovely feeling. I'm hoping to return to Uni next year and I am going to apply early in January. Hopfully this coming year will be better, I pray it will be better, I need it to be better.

I miss my friends so much, it hurts so bad without thwm in my life, I feel so alone and I wish I could just have more beautiful memories. I hold on to my past, I hold on so dearly to the memories I have of them. I feel almost like nothing without them.